Year's End

I don't watch every show, but I watch a lot of shows.  Certainly more than your average Emmy or Golden Globe voter.  Here are my 2013 made up winners for my made up categories.

Biggest laugh
"I have decided to do a puzzle." - Winston
"All In"
New Girl
It took me longer to recover from this line than anything else on television.  I probably laughed for 5-10 minutes.  Out of context, it doesn't make much sense.  In context, I'm not sure it makes any more sense.

Favorite single episode
"Decoy"
Justified
The best western made since the Magnificent Seven.  Paired with "Get Drew" you have 90 minutes of a movie. 

Biggest and best single episode
"The Rains of Castamere"
Game of Thrones
So much is already said about this episode.  The only other contenders are probably a few episodes from Breaking Bad

Most important episode
"World War Zimmerman"
South Park
If you have 22 minutes and only 22 minutes to watch television from 2013, watch this episode.  And if you can only watch one scene, watch Mr. Garrison mediate between Token and Cartman.

Best insult
Both of these come from Veep, whose insult-laden, incompetent, self-interested Washington is a much more accurate representation than what we see on The West Wing

Furlong: What is it you move slower than?
Will: I move as slowly as a Mississippi detective investigating the murder of a young black man.
Veep "D.C"

Honorable mention:
"What are you laughing at, jolly green jizzface?" - Selena, Veep "The Vic Allen Dinner"

Best overall season (tie)
Justified
Season Four
This one's here as my favorite season.  Rather than introduce a new villain or big bad to take us from 1 to 13, we explore new avenues of marshalling with Raylan where he tries to solve a mystery, operating largely in the already established universe of Harlan, KY.  Other strengths include a side plot featured in the premiere then revisited mid-season, and Boyd's, largely separate until it wasn't anymore, storyline.

Breaking Bad
Season Five-B
This one's here as the, objectively, best season in television in 2013.  Barney Stinson says a good mix should be "all rise" (rather than rise and fall) and that's what this season did.  Gilligan put his foot on the gas, immediately bringing Walt and Hank to a head and then keeping it there through Walt literally slamming his foot on the gas and confessing in "To'hajiilee" until he regroups in "Granite State" and redeems himself to the extent possible in "Felina"

Worst overall season
Community
Season Four
Often when a show undergoes big creative changes, complaints can still be tempered with "it's not what it was but it's still better than most other shows."  That was not the case here, as Community, at best, attempted an impersonation of the real Community.  The darkest timeline was the one where we had to watch these episodes.

I'm cautiously optimistic though about the return of Harmon-helmed shows in January.

Best death
Catelyn Stark
Game of Thrones

Tara Knowles  
Sons of Anarchy
(runner up)

Best new character to an existing show
Bob Benson
Mad Men
Did anyone provoke as much thought and discussion as this guy?

Honorable Mention:
Oleanna Redwyne, the Queen of Thorns
Game of Thrones

Best new show
I'd say House of Cards narrowly edges Ray Donovan, but living in DC, I'm biased.

Worst returning character
Carrie - Homeland
Started so well.  Then fell so far jeopardizing missions and assaulting expired ponies

Worst returning ensemble
Modern Family 
The Dunphy branch is largely excluded, but the Pritchard branches are nearly unwatchable.  "She's hot!  He's gay!  HAHAHA!"  Despite being a single camera quasi-mockumentary, this show most resembles one written with a laugh track in mind.

Best prop
Ben's Jumbo Mug
Veep

Best short term storyline
Carrie in the nuthous
Homeland

Worst short term storyline
Rehabbing Brody
Homeland
But it was necessary to do so to achieve the end result

Best season long storyline
A bag of money in a wall
Justified

Worst season long storyline
Phillip and Elizabeth's marital up and down
The Americans

Best character scene
Small council
"The Walk of Punishment"
Game of Thrones 

Honorable mention:
Constable Bob and Yolo
Justified

Best reality moment
Hayden throws down at Tribal Council on Survivor
They draw rocks for only the second time in nearly thirty seasons

Most surprising revelation (tie)
Carrie and Saul's nuthouse plan 
Homeland

Irene Adler is Moriarty
Elementary

Least surprising revelation
Ray was molested too
Ray Donovan

Redeemable moment in an unpleasant character
Pete giving Harry what for following the MLK assassination
"The Flood"
Mad Men

MVP
The character who kills every scene and single handedly brings up the overall quality of the show.  The nominees are...

Raylan Givens
Justified
You run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole.  You run into assholes all day, you're the asshole"

“You run into an asshole in the morning: you ran into an asshole. You run into assholes all day: you’re the asshole.” – Raylan Givens. - See more at: http://brandnewcool.com/2013/01/08/hole-in-the-wall-favorite-moments-and-more-from-justified/#sthash.MSIoGZBj.dpuf

Always good for a quote about assholes.  For how he dealt with his father dying and his baby being on the way.  He showed ambition for the first time as well as considerable depth and incredible acting (think scene in front of the elevators).  Raylan doesn't fall into the anti-hero lead category that is on the verge of being cliche if more poorly formed versions pop up. He is a more traditional 'hero' albeit with deep flaws, yet still intensely likeable.  And tied together the best plot of 2013. 

Ygritte
Game of Thrones 
"You know nothing, Jon Snow"  
The refrain of the year.  She's hilarious and badass and incredibly astute.  Ygritte elevates the entire North of the Wall storyline in a way Tyrion did in Kings' Landing in Season Two.  Picking an MVP from the cast of Game of Thrones could prove an exercise in futility, but Ygritte made it surprisingly easy.


Saul Berenzen
Homeland
"When it's over it's over. Pull down the shades and go home."
The above quote could well be advice to Homeland as a series.  "The Maestro" had the opportunity and resources to implement his grand vision for moving forward United States foreign relations with a certain country, and it just so happened to settle an old score of his.  Audacious in his vision, yet till hardened enough to do what it took to accomplish the end game.  If Saul's not back next season, we can take comfort in the fact that he did get to play his opus on the grandest stage.

And the winner....

Jesse Pinkman
Breaking Bad 
"Can you just, uh, stop working me for, like, ten seconds straight? Stop jerking me around?

For being the soul and conscience of a show that turned the protagonist into Scarface and gave us a rooting interest we could all agree upon.  Put through the wringer and beat up worse than Ben was in Lost, we can all hope and pretend that he just sped out those gates and kept driving all the way to Alaska.

And so, we close with HBO's annual year-end trailer.  No one does it better than them.

Veep: Utter incompetence

"What?  You work at the White House?!  Oh my God, can I blow you?!"

 Veep returns Sunday night on HBO.

Regardless of where you live, expectations of any Washington-centric show include political machinations featuring members of Congress, lobbyists, and other movers and shakers making deals over steaks, cigars or cocktails.  It's a glamorous display of power, effectuality and uber competence.

Not so much.

If you live in Washington, DC the show has a built in appeal to you because you know DC has as many clowns, charlatans, and b.s. artists as anywhere.  Everyone alternately scrambles or procrastinates to get through the day just as you would in an office park in Scranton, PA.  Which is why Veep is so good...the ubiquitous nature of incompetence in the everyday workplace.  It provides the Office of the Vice President as the backdrop for a typical workplace comedy.  Yet the jokes are specific enough to politics and government the show is far from generic.  Perhaps these are not unique to DC, but some of these characters just scream Washington adding to the hilarity.

Dan - Climber, ascends professionally more due to networking than competence
Gary - Kool aid drinker. It'd be obnoxious if he wasn't so sincere
Jonah - constantly reminding everyone where he works

This doesn't even include the verbal japes the staff take at their own jobs when they refer to making "the medium bucks", using "creative" as a euphemism for "cheap" when it comes to budgeting and the utter contempt most others have for the types listed above.


Besides her staff deftly avoiding most implications of competence, the Veep's office also manages to rebuff any myth of having power and effectiveness in Washington.   Vice President Selena's image of herself as the second most power person in the world does not exactly line up with reality.  This is not unlike Michael Gary Scott's view of himself as a model businessman, comedian and all around best friend to everyone.  Selena's reaction when she discovers this misalignment is however much angrier than that of the Dunder Mifflin regional manager.  Rather than wrap her foot in bubble wrap and sulk, or double down by parading out self created characters to help make his original point (or oftentimes the exact opposite point he tried to make), she instead borderline abuses her staff to turn around their current political mess and get back into the country's/political ally's good graces and live up to her ambition.

Veep spawns from a much darker place than The Office though.  The shows' plotting diverges them further.  Michael may be down and depressed about his 30 year mortgage only to be welcomed back warmly to an office later that day while Selena and her team will be nearly out of the weeds, only to have the facade they've constructed come crashing down on them at the end of the episode, often putting them in an even worse position than they started.

And if you're interested, there's another show in the pipeline featuring the vice president. 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus was up for a Golden Globe and took home the Emmy for the Best Actress in a Comedy.  The show itself was nominated for an Emmy for Best Comedy Series.  It airs Sunday at 10 p.m. Eastern on HBO, repeats throughout the week and is on HBO Go.